Sometimes in the world of disc golf there are those tournaments that everyone just kind of gets the sense taht something special is going on here. There is a sense of community amongst most if not all of the people playing that says something more than this is a competition. There is a sense of uniqueness that says I am different but I am okay with that. It really isn't a sense of arrogance but a sense of being confident in who you are. Snow Mountain Challenge has been one of those tournaments for me in the past and thus remains one of my favorite tournaments to play. It is why I had something to look forward to after not meeting expectations at Am Worlds this year.
That being said, I played really well in two out of three rounds last year and was really hoping to make it three out of three rounds this year. Even further in the past, when the course at snow mountain was a little bit different I was able to play really well there while not playing so well at Winter Park. There was no reason that I could not come into this tournament and play really well.
Okay, so the reality was that after Am Worlds I went back to work. I work with kids. I work with young kids. I work with germ infested kids that have made me sick more in 2014 than I think I have ever been sick before. Of course, three days into working again I get sick with similar symptoms to what I had right around the time of while I like to call at this point my epic disc golf demise. I can pin point one tournament where things went so bad I knew it was time to make changes. Getting sick like this was the last thing anyone should have to deal with right before a tournament.
Like last year I shot a less than stellar round at Snow Mountain. I did have moments of greatness. I was able to birdie a hole that no one else on my card birdied. And of course I need to mention that I was on a card with Joe, the top rated player in the state. For one hole I was awesome. For one hole I was the best player. For many others I failed empically. I threw a few shots that made me feel like it was time to move down and play advanced again. Or even intermediate now that my rating has dropped back under the 935 mark. Most of my shots had the right idea, but they ended up short or long or just not where you wanted them to be. And even if they did end up in a good place, I was not on my putting game. And occasionally, well, at least for the first two holes. I played a good upshot after a mediocre drive, only to watch the disc roll away from the basket just far enough to force a barely good enough effort that ultimately resulted in two bogies.
I took some time at lunch to tell myself that was okay because I was going to play Winter Park better. Sure I was in last place and sure there was a lot of ground to make up, but I was capable and I was going to do it. Not so much. The first round at Winter Park, second round of the tournament, the same round where only a year ago I shot one of my best rounds, I failed epically. I tried to play smart and play my game and the pieces were just not fitting together. It was like trying to get to five with two balls in each hand. There were no real aha moments outside of one putt that somehow went in from at least 50 feet out. There were only two birdies and the rest of the round was just junk. The good news is that it was not as bad in the morning, but there were still at least five stupid errors that would have made the round what I was hoping for.
Alright, one more chance to make things better on Sunday morning. One more round at Winter Park where I know I am capable of shooting really well. It was tough to watch a good friend nearly ace a hole that is over 700 feet long while I managed to take a 5. It was tough to have more putts at two than I have had in the previous two rounds, only to fail to convert. On the bright side, I made another good long putt, one that I even thought was going to miss. Ultimately it landed me in dead last place in open with a score that should have been in intermediate where my dad was forced to paly.
After the tournmanet I really felt, even though I loved the community around me and recognized that special thing in the air, I felt like I was just not that good at disc golf. I learned that I can really beat myself up and that I can make mistakes even on the simplest of things. I learned that I have a lot of work left to do. As I talked about it tonight, Monday night, with my roommate, I think I learned what the mental block might be. We were talking about something going on in his life and he mentioned the concept of confidence and how it impacts performance. Even my friend Paige had to tell me recently that I was a better disc golfer than I was telling people I was. I think she is right, even if I only ended up beating her by two throws for the whole tournament. Confidence is huge and right now I have lost it. There is a confidence switch that is not yet turned on. It is like I did so well at Winter Warriors and relaxed too much and turned off the switch heading into this year. It is like I allowed myself to be intimidated by playing Open unlike when I did last year with the confidence of a win in advanced. I need to talk myself up and gain that confidence back. So, here is my attempt to get that process started.
"Hey Scott, you are a disc golfer. You love this game and by golly you are good at it. You can throw a disc really well. You can hit lines and make throws that only you, yes only you can do. You have a good game and when you play your game, there isn't anyone that you couldn't beat. That putt is going in the basket. That upshot will land in your confidence range. That tee shot will do exactly what you expect. You know how to play this game. You can focus really well when you take the time. You are good. You have more fun than anyone else. You are unique and that is okay. You are good at this game. You had better believe it!"
I don't have to wait long for the next chance. I get to go play where I won last year in advanced. There is nothing besides myself, not even Joe that could stop me from winning again, even in Open.
